I was on a conference call today with a group of coaches who coach on the topic of death and grief. We had a guest speaker who spoke about The Moment of Death. She is a physician who is about to become a certified life coach through the coaching school I attended. She has retired from medicine and is now coaching people who care for others.

Five years ago when I went through my training to become a coach, I was struck by the number of professionals who were taking the training. It became apparent that people choose coaching because it offers them work that is deeply satisfying.

Because I have suffered the loss of a loved one when I was young (22) and written a book about it, "grief work" is one of my coaching specialties. Life has given me experience with both denying grief and facing it. If I could recapture those lost years, I'd definitely do so in a heartbeat by doing the grief work sooner rather than later.

Eight years ago when my mother fell and fractured her pelvis, she was told there was nothing the doctors could do to fix it. She had to lie flat on her back until her pelvis healed. She knew healing takes longer at the age 90. She fell and broke her hip 4 years earlier and never regained her independence again. When she fractured her pelvis, she refused food and water. She died 10 days later.

Ten years ago my brother, who was in his early 60's, was diagnosed with colon cancer. His diagnosis was terminal. When I called him, he said, "I wish I had done things differently." I asked him what he meant by that. He couldn't answer. He started weeping and eventually hung up. I never found out what he wished he had done differently.

My brother accepted death. He was curious about it. He asked a lot of questions of the Deacon who came to visit him every day.

• How will I know when it's time to die?
• Who will take care of my family when I'm gone?
• Will death be painful?

My brother died in his sleep in the middle of the night-apparently peaceful death, much different than my mother's death. My mother was 92. My brother was 62 so maybe age doesn't have much to do with how we face death. I guess it's attitude.
My wish is that I approach death as graciously as my brother did.

Learning to let go in life is good practice for dying. Because ultimately, the BIG LET GO is of our own precious LIFE.

Pfizer's free-drug program, called Maintain, is the latest effort by the pharmaceutical industry to repair it's damaged public image and position itself as a standard bearer for social responsibility.

Merck has also expanded its patient assistance program during the economic downturn. Individuals may now qualify to receive free drugs if their household income is less than $43,320. The previous limit was half that amount.

If you take drugs manufactured by either of these companies and fall within the income guidelines, you might want to contact them to find out more.

Every little bit counts during this challenging economic times.

What a concept, huh? When one enters psychotherapy, they are given a diagnosis.
This doesn't happen when someone starts working with a coach. NO diagnosis, just investigation. The coaching client does not show up as broken, damaged or needing a therapeutic evaluation.
That's why it's so important to screen carefully for coaching clients. I have turned away potential clients because it was obvious they needed therapy instead of coaching.

When I begin working with a new client, I ask BIG, POWERFUL questions. I encourage them to take time answering the questions.
The questions:

• What do you want?
• What's important to you?
• What's stopping you from having what you want?
• Where do you draw your stength from?
• What's the truth?
• What do you need to say "No" to?
• What makes it so scary?

I laugh a lot when I'm around my grandkids. Guess that's why I enjoy them so much. Sometimes they are offended when I laugh. Sadie often thinks I'm making fun of her. I have to quickly clean that up.
Sadie said to me a few years ago. Gannon can burb my name. She didn't think it was funny when I laughed.
Lexi said recently when I remarked about her new hair cut, "Yes, I got "across bangs" instead of "side bangs". Never heard it expressed like that before.
Once when Lexi was telling me about her dad's anger. She said, "Dad has a lot of "little mads" but after awhile of "little mads", he'll have a "BIG MAD" and that's when I run for cover.