The universe conspires to help those in passionate pursuit of their life purpose.

When you discover and begin to live your life based on your values and inherent gifts, it's as if the RED SEA opens up and you are granted entrance into the Garden of Paradise.As far as I know, this is the only life we are given. Why not choose to design it rather than live it by default, I ask? That's what coaching is all about: helping folks design their life.

One of the first things I do with a new client is dig deep to discover their life values (what's important to them).

Once we have a good idea of that, we go on a treasure hunt to discover their life purpose. Then we design an alliance between us that will support them to stay on track, step out of their comfort zone and create a life that is in alignment with their values and their life purpose.A coach is someone who runs along side you as you journey into the Garden of Eden continually telling you that you are deserving, capable and able to attain what you long for. It's so important to activate and keep your longings ALIVE. It draws the thing you want toward you.

Life Purpose? What's Mine?

Some time between 40-50, a lot of people ask themselves: "Is this all there is?"

That quest can lead to exploring a deeper meaning for your life.

If you haven't experienced the joy and satisfaction you've worked so hard to attain, perhaps you've been been looking in the wrong places. Perhaps joy and fulfillment are not outside ourselves. One of my clients recently told me that coaching turned her eyes inward. I thought that was a good metaphor for what the coaching relationship gives people - the opportunity to look within for what is missing in our lives and what could fulfill our deepest longings.

Often that has something to do with the path not chosen. Maybe we are at the top of the mountain and it doesn't feel as we imagined it would feel. I read a quote from Sarah Ban Breathnach's book, Simple Abundance that said:

But what's wrong? What is this sadness we cannot name? Here is a question that deserves loving meditation. Perhaps the heart of our melancholy is that we miss the person we were meant to be. We miss our authentic selves. But the good news is that even if you have ignored its overtures for decades, your authentic self has not abandoned you. Instead it has been waiting patiently for you to recognize it and reconnect. Turn away from the world this year and begin to listen. Listen to the whispers of your heart. Look within.

"The soul is subtle and speaks in a different language then the mind. So you need to practice listening to it every day, in every small way. What moves you? What color draws you in? How does your body feel? Honoring these small truths, leads us to the larger truths." Annie O'Shaughnessy, founder of Soul Flares

New Perspective on Aging

"I don't need a mirror to see how I look. Long ago, I realized the inner self is visible if you present yourself truthfully and authentically. I'm comfortable with getting older. I have lived a good life."

Geraldine Smith, 70
Wise Women, A Celebration of Their Insights, Courage, and Beauty. by Joyce Tenneson

In Dr. Andrew Weil's recent DVD, "Healthy Aging" he suggests that we look for the positive aspects of aging.

I recently gave a talk at Hospice and had it videotaped. Viewing myself on film is always an eye-opener. I'm always shocked at how old I look. I feel so young inside. I remember my mom saying the same thing at the age of 90. When I was visiting, I had the opportunity to take her to her doctor's appointment. She primped endlessly before she was ready to go. My thought was, "Mom, why bother with all the makeup, jewelry and adornment when the face is so old and wrinkled?"

When I saw her young, handsome orthopedic surgeon who was in his early 40's, I understood her primping. She had no idea how old she looked, she still flirted with her doctor. I had to chuckle.

On my walk this morning, I wondered what it would be like if I could look in the mirror and honor my fine lines and wrinkles instead of looking with distaste at my image in the mirror.

We are trained in our culture to have disdain for an aging face. I don't think anyone is more aware of this than an aging woman.
What we see in the media are anorexic images of 20 year-olds. How many of us look like that? How many of us are getting plastic surgery and Botox to change our aging faces?

I spent $8,000 last year on my teeth, but I couldn't justify spending that amount of money or more to attempt to get rid of my wrinkles. I guess nice-looking teeth are more important to me.

Consider the alternative to aging.. My husband, Howard, died at 22. His sweet, youthful face didn't have fine lines and wrinkles. He missed all the trails and tribulations that creates those wrinkles. He also missed being a father, a brother, a grown son, a grandpa, a loving husband with a whole room full of curtain climbers, as he called them.

Life has left undeniable marks on my face, body and soul. What would it be like to embrace the effects of my life, rather than deny them?

Yesterday I heard someone say that on the day she received her diagnosis of cancer, she made a list of 20 things to be grateful for about the diagnosis. That's a change of attitude, isn't it? If you've survived a life threatening situation, what has been the benefit of it? Explore that a little to affect a change in attitude.

This morning I was listening to piano music and I was brought to tears by the beauty of the music. I'm grateful for the capacity to feel that deeply. My frozen heart is still thawing out 40 years after my tragic loss. Exploring my denied grief has given me the ability to feel at a deep level. I'm grateful for that.

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran.