Ahhhhh. Breathe a sigh of relief. The sun is setting on not just another year - but another decade. The holidays are over. It's time to get ready for the new year.

I don't know about you, but I had a challenging time getting into the spirit of the Holidays this year. I just wanted to hibernate. Those of us who live in the Northern Hemisphere, where the natural world is at it's low point in the yearly cycle, may feel like hibernating. That's normal. Let yourself have the time of hibernation. It is a period of "active reflection". Look "inward" and "outward" at once.

As I reflect on the past decade, I notice my accomplishments and those things I've not yet accomplished. I trust and let go, knowing that as I do the inner work of change, the physical world manifests my inner changes.

I want to let go of thinking I can fix everything that's not perfect in my life. I stress myself out by entertaining the idea that if I just did this or that, I could fix whatever is not working. It's taken me a long time to learn that the only thing I can change is my insides and that when I succeed at doing that, the outside circumstances automatically change.

How many times do I need to learn that? I've done some pretty serious inner work this year regarding some of my most intimate relationships. I've looked at ways I've kept people stuck in previous perceptions I've held of them. I've not allowed myself to get to know who they have become.

We are all evolving and changing. But sometimes the people closest to us are the hardest to see clearly and differently.

What will this decade include?

As we complete the decade, I reflect on all that has transpired in the last 10 years: The World Trade Center, New Orleans, the wars in Iraq and Afhghanistan. Our world has changed. On a personal note, my mother died and my first book was published,

To counter-balance the stress of the last decade, I have to make note of the positive things have happened in the last decade.

• became a certified life coach
• taught a memoir writing workshop at Fishtrap Writer's Conference
• led a grief workshop for widows from War on Terrorism
• appeared on Bill Moyer's Journal
• had a second grandchild
• built a successful coaching practice
• discovered I had ADHD

What are you longing for in 2010?

• Do you find yourself empowering everyone but yourself?
• Have you kept yourself and your talents invisible too long?
• Do you need a hand to hold as you leap off the cliff into the abyss?
• Are you ready to claim what's unclaimed in your life?